John Feehery: Speaking Engagements


White House Melt Down

Posted on August 24, 2009

White House Melt Down


            I can only imagine what went through White House Chief of Staff’s mind when he heard that Eric Holder was going off the deep end on the CIA investigation:


            “He did what?  That f####ing a#####ole!  We need a plan.  Sometimes got to talk Panetta off the ledge.  How the f***k did ABC find out that he was going to resign?  Who is talking to frickin ABC?  God D***itt!”


            “Our frickin health care plan is going down the tube.  That SOB Conrad!  If I could send him to Siberia, I would.  Putin has it so damn easy!


            “I sure hope POTUS has a nice frickin time at the Vineyard.  This whole thing is melting down!”


            “Ok, Ok, think!  What can we do the change the story?  What can we do the calm the markets?  What can we do to make people think that we know what we are doing?”


            “I got an idea.  Let’s announce that we are reappointing Bernanke.  That will take the pressure off.  Jesus frickin Christ.  It’s brilliant.  F##k Summers!  He gets on my nerves anyway.  Can you imagine that m####%%% f#####r at the Fed?  No frickin way.


            “Hopefully, if we will get some help from our friends in the media, this Bernanke story will last awhile.  We need it to last awhile.  I hate frickin August.”


            “Call the New York Times.  Tell them it’s Bernanke.  And send Leon some red roses!”