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The Sad Demise of Jeremy Lin

Posted on February 20, 2012

(New York City, NY, February 20, 2013)  The New York Knicks announced today that its star player, Jeremy Lin, was leaving the team.  It wouldn’t provide details on the reasons, but New Four five has discovered that Lin had grown disillusioned with his role with the team and his wider impact on the world.

“It really is tragic,” one insider put it.   “This guy could have brought us to the promised land again, but he just went crazy.  It’s Linsanity!”

According to several reports, it wasn’t drugs or narcotics that started Lin’s downfall.  It was the desire of his parents that  he go to Medical School and become a doctor.

“Hasn’t this guy ever heard of Doctor J?  He was a doctor.  A doctor? Doesn’t this guy realize that being a doctor just doesn’t pay under Obamacare?”, said one disgruntled Knicks fan.

Lin guided the Knicks to a NBA Championship last year, single-handedly reviving a sports league that had almost collapsed amid a long and devastating strike.

One NBA executive was despondent about Lin’s sudden retirement:  “We would offer the guy the moon, but he just won’t listen.  I don’t know if this guy is on drugs or not.  But whatever he is smoking, he needs to stop smoking it.  He is killing me.”

Dirk Nowitzki, the Dallas Mavericks Star who guided his team to a championship two years ago, was philosophic about Lin’s sudden retirement.  “Listen, it is hard to break stereotypes in this league.  I had to get clause in my contract to make sure my teammates would pass to me.  But, at least he is a point guard.  Those guys always have the ball.  So, I don’t know what his problem is.”

David Brooks, the New York Times columnist, said this:  “Sociologically speaking, this is a sad return of the archetype.  We expect the Asian Harvard student to go to Medical School, not stay in the NBA.  And that, of course, is exactly what he is doing.  I must say that while I find this to be very sad, I don’t find it to be very surprising.”

Mr. Lin was not available to comment for this story.