John Feehery: Speaking Engagements


Rich Form New Trade Association

Posted on March 12, 2009

Rich Form New Trade Association


            (New York City)  A group of wealthy Americans, worried about their reputations and their declining fortunes, have formed a new trade association, the aptly named National Association to Protect And Defend Rich People Everywhere (NAPDRPE).


            A spokesman for the Association, who declined to be named, said, “We are very, very concerned about the vulgarians who seek to take our wealth, and those greedy nouveau riche who parade in their Hummers and wear tacky clothes and give rich people everywhere a bad name.”


            The Association was hurriedly founded as a response to the Obama Administration budget. “We all voted for Obama, because we didn’t want to associate ourselves with all of those country music fans.  We thought Obama meant change, but we didn’t think he meant this kind of change!”


            “Who knew that President Obama would do what he said he would do!  Yes, he said that he would raise taxes on the rich, but we didn’t think he was serious.”


            “The final straw came when he attacked our charities.  We use these charities as a way to feel better about our filthy riches, and of course to make relationships so we can make more filthy money.  Mr. Obama must be stopped!”


            The rich also are concerned that they are getting lumped in with con artists like Bernie Madoff and R. Allen Standford.  “We are not criminals.  We pay most of the taxes.  We create most of the jobs.  We help people.  We buy the yachts, we own the planes, we pay cash for the Cadillacs, all of which are made by American workers.    How about some love here?”


            The Association will focus on promoting its charitable contributions to society and defending itself against efforts to make them pay for every new program that the Obama administration dreams up.


            The spokesman concluded, “We are all for new government programs, especially the National Endowment for the Arts and those kinds of things, but not if we are the only ones who have to pay for it.  Where is the fairness in that?”



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