Welcome Back to the Congress
By John Feehery
Dear Representative or Senator:
Welcome back to Washington.
I hope you had a nice break and you are ready to work hard on behalf of the American people. The first step in working hard for the people is to ignore just about everything they are telling you back home.
Yep, the President sure did step in it by making bold threats on red-lines and everything. And yes, your constituents want to have nothing to do with Syria.
Yes, they are tired of war. They think Iraq and Afghanistan was one big cruel joke that wasted a lot of money and cost a lost of lives. And to them, this is a civil war within a country far, far away. Why get involved?
It’s a good question, one you should ask the President’s people when they come knocking at your door. If they come knocking at your door. Yes, I understand that you probably don’t know who in the White House is supposed to be contacting you about these kinds of things, because the White House probably doesn’t know who is supposed to be contacting you. Yes, they are incompetent over there.
But the fact of the matter is that the President needs your help, even if he has campaigned against you, and thinks that you are the root of all evil. We can’t have a President looking really, really weak in the eyes of the world. We can’t have Vladimir Putin and Bashir Assad making fun of our President.
Because if they get away with that, just imagine what that new guy in Iran will do.
We don’t have a lot of time, with all of the holidays and such, to keep the government open, so as you are trying to decide how to vote in Syria, please keep an open mind about keeping the government open.
No, we aren’t going to defund Obamacare in the continuing resolution. The President isn’t going to go for that, and it couldn’t pass the Senate anyway. I know that some of your colleagues keep saying that we can fund the rest of government except for the new health care law implementation, but that’s not how the law works. Most of the funding comes through mandatory spending, so this law is going forward unless we repeal it, and that’s not going to happen. Not with Mr. Obama in the White House and Harry Reid as Senate Majority leader.
I know that some of your constituents insist on this whole defunding thing, and you may have seen some ads run by conservatives claiming that conservatives like Mitch McConnell are not really conservative. Do me a favor and just ignore all of that chatter. It’s meaningless drivel from a bunch of groups that are trying to raise money from some of your most unsuspecting constituents.
While were on the topic of meaningless drivel, get ready to add a few more zeroes on to the national debt. Yep, it’s that time of the year again when the debt limit has to be increased. I know, I know, you hate to vote to extend the debt limit, and yes, I know, when the President was a Senator, he voted against extending that debt limit.
But, we have been piling more debt on our children for close to two centuries. In fact, the last President to pay off the entire debt was Andrew Jackson. And after he did that, our country went into a big depression. So, paying off the debt is not really realistic. Just do the right thing, and vote for to extend it at some point in time. Otherwise, Social Security checks won’t be issued.
Speaking of paying off debt and balancing budgets, we aren’t going to balance the budget by cutting your pay in half or by getting rid of all foreign aid. And we aren’t going to balance the budget by keeping the government’s hands off of the Medicare system. I know you get a lot of good ideas from your constituents, but keep in mind, on most issues, your constituents don’t know anything. They really don’t. So, don’t spend too much time listening to them.
And don’t spend too much time listening to constituents who say that those damn Mexicans have taken their jobs away, when those same constituents wouldn’t be caught dead working in a chicken factory or in the fields picking corn or at a motel, cleaning rooms. When immigration comes to the House floor, don’t listen to those folks back home who want to deport all 11 million illegal aliens, because if we do that, our economy will collapse.
Together, we will have a lot of fun this Fall, backing our President on Syria, keeping the government open, paying our nation’s debt (compiled over the last decade or so), and if we are lucky, getting the chance to fix our broken immigration system. Should be a great time.
PS: You might want to turn off your cell phone and not check your Facebook page or your Twitter feed until after this all gets over with.