John Feehery: Speaking Engagements

Header

Keep these Brits Out of the US

Posted on May 8, 2009

What Brits Should Be Kept Out of the U.S?



  Earlier this week, the British government decided that Michael Savage should be kept out the U.K. because he spews hate on his radio talk show.  I am not going to defend everything Savage has ever uttered on his radio program, but he is not exactly the next coming of Adolph Hitler.  He is a talk-show host.  Give me a break.



  That got me thinking though.  We here in the States should take this opportunity to retaliate by keeping some dangerous British citizens out of this country.



  Here are 6 Brits who should be kept out of the U.S.:



1)  Gordon Brown:  First he raises the top tax rate to 50%.  Now he wants to raise it to close to 60%.  This is the real swine flu, and it is deadly for economic growth.  Brown should be isolated and quarantined. 


2)  Simon Cowell:  Haven’t we had enough of his smirky, condescending comments?  He gets rich by making fun of people who just want a shot at fame.  Let the Brits keep him.


3)  Victoria Beckham:  This chick is plain weird.  She has a vacant look in her eyes, and I don’t know what kind of virus she has, but it may be contagious.  Get her out of here.


4)  Boy George:  First, the outrageous costumes, and now the out-of-control drug habit.  He is a danger mostly to himself, but we can’t take the chance.  Keep him out of this country.


5)  J.K. Rowling:  She has infected this country with her tales of witchcraft and sorcery.  She creates a stampede with every new book.  She is a menace to society and most alarming, she targets our nation’s children.  She must be stopped!


6)   The Queen:  Monarchy is so out-dated.  It is a serious waste of our time, and England really hasn’t needed a monarch for a hundred years.  Get rid of it.  And keep her out of this country.  We shouldn’t give her any more notoriety.


7)  Elton John:  Sure, he had a few big hits in his time, but his career is largely over.  Now he dabbles way too much in politics.  Keep him out of America.  He is way too seventies.


8)  Christopher Hitchens:  While I personally like the guy, he is clearly a threat to the established order.  And he drinks too much.  How dare he attack religion!  Outrageous… Outta here!


9)  Paul McCartney’s ex-wife:  She sounds like a horrible wench.  She now may have a lot of money, but she doesn’t deserve it.  Reminds me of the old joke:  Why is divorce so expensive?  Because it is worth it.  Just kidding.  Keep her out of this country.


10)  Kate Moss and Peter Doherty:  She is too skinny, he is too high.  They are too weird.  Too many drugs, too few good reasons to let them come in the country.