The Feehery Theory

Kid Rock

Feb28

By John Feehery

Kid Rock once played at a party held in honor of my old boss, Denny Hastert, the former Speaker of the House.

It was at the Republican Convention in New York, and country music star Trace Adkins also headlined the event.

And it was frickin awesome.

I wasn’t much of a Kid Rock fan back then.  I am now.

Kid Rock isn’t your Andy Williams Republican.  He is not singing the songs from the Osmond Family.  His music isn’t exactly genteel.

Kid Rock’s music is not exactly the kind of music I want my 5 year old listening to, especially the old stuff.

It is raw.  It is profane.  It kicks ass.   And it is not appropriate for kindergartners.

Kid Rock was born Bob Ritchie in Romeo, Michigan in 1971.   Romeo is not Detroit, and at age fifteen, Bob Ritchie ran away from home, moved to the big city, and never turned back to small town America.

He hasn’t exactly had an easy time of it.  He sold drugs out of a car wash to make ends meet, but eventually fell into a group of budding rap musicians.  He was white kid would could rock, which is how he became Kid Rock.

To say that Kid Rock is an angel is to misrepresent the facts.  He has had his fair share of run-ins with the law, he has done his fair share of drugs, and he hasn’t cut his hair in a decade.

But he is one persistent rock and roller, and when things have gone poorly for him, he has brushed himself off, picked himself up, and kept at it until he has been successful.

Mitt Romney has been playing Kid Rock at his campaign rallies for a while now.   More specifically, he has been playing the new Kid Rock anthem “Born Free.”

It is interesting that somebody as square as Mitt Romney would be drawn to somebody as raw as Kid Rock.

Kid Rock is a patriot, so that might be part of the draw.  He plays concerts for our troops all over the world and he has done that for a long, long time.  Perhaps that is one reason that Romney likes him.

Rock, like Romney, is from Michigan and cares about Detroit, so that might be  another thing that bings them.

And Rock, like Romney, has worked hard his whole life and doesn’t seem to take anything for granted.

Yet, Kid Rock and Mitt Romney still make an unlikely pair.

You have to wonder if Rick Santorum would be offended by Kid Rock’s music.   Romney seems to let that stuff roll off his back.  Santorum, on the other hand, seems to want to bend the culture into something better for the kids.

Rock and rollers tend to trend left.  Drugs, sex and rock roll tends to have more resonance with the liberal set.  Bruce Springsteen, the rock and roll icon, is a perfect example of that.  John Cougar is another example.  Both have rock and roll anthems that point to the problems of America, not to its possibilities.   Remember Born in the USA is anti-war song.

But that might be changing.  Kid Rock’s “Born Free” is a song about the wonders of living in America.  There isn’t a drop of cynicism in that song.

Maybe that is why Kid Rock and Mitt Romney get along so well.  They both see the possibilities in America, not the problems with America.

Campaigns reveal

Feb28

By John Feehery

(This originally appeared in The Hill)

About three weeks ago, I thought about endorsing Rick Santorum.

He had done well in the debates. He was talking about the importance of manufacturing jobs, and he had a plan to bring them back. He was a blue-collar guy who cared about family values, cared about helping the poor, cared about normal people.

Campaigns reveal things, though, and in three short weeks, we have found out a bunch of things about Rick Santorum.

We found out that he wanted to “throw up” after reading John F. Kennedy’s famous speech on the separation of church and state. Remember, this was the speech that helped catapult the only Catholic president in our nation’s history into the White House. Santorum’s Catholic, right?

We found out that he thinks Satan has infiltrated higher education in this country. Listen, if he has a problem with his alma mater (Penn State), that’s his problem, but don’t lump my alma mater (Marquette) in with that problem, OK?

We found out that Santorum, who home-schools his kids (not that there is anything wrong with that), believes that having the state fund public education is “anachronistic.” I guess Rick thinks everybody should home-school their kids.

We found out that Rick believes that President Obama is a “snob” because he thinks more people should go to college. The unemployment rate for college graduates is about 4 percent. For those who don’t attend college, it is about 12 percent. I’m with the snob on this one.

He calls colleges “indoctrination mills.” Yep, I hate that kind of indoctrination that gets you a job.

We found out that his wife, Karen, believes that it is God’s will that Rick Santorum become president. I thought it was God’s will that Rick Perry become president, or at least that is what Perry’s wife thought. I, for one, think that God must be getting awfully tired hearing people claiming his endorsement. If He wants to endorse somebody, I am sure He will let us all know.

We found out that Santorum can take a perfectly winning issue, religious freedom, and turn it in to a deep discussion of contraception, which, if you look at the polls, is a big loser for conservatives.

We are glad to hear that you are against contraception personally, Rick, and we are glad that you are so against contraception that you voted to fund it on occasion. Now can you just shut up about it?

We found out, according to the Gospel of Rick, that “we’re not here to serve the earth. The earth is not the objective. Man is the objective.” I thought God was the objective, and in any case, neither man nor God is served well if we completely trash this little place we call home.

We found out that Santorum believes that Obama is practicing a “phony theology.” But we can’t quite get out of the former senator what he means by that. Is the president a Freemason, a Muslim, a Mormon, a Mennonite, or perhaps a Scientologist?

In total, we have found out that Santorum believes he is on a mission from God, that he doesn’t believe in public education, doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state, that he doesn’t believe in contraception, and that Satan has somehow possessed a bunch of people that he disagrees with. He sounds like our Founding Fathers.

No, not Jefferson, Washington, Ben Franklin and all of the Enlightenment folks.

He sounds like the Puritans who kicked Roger Williams out of Massachusetts and exiled him to Rhode Island because he was too liberal.

If Santorum gets the GOP nomination, I will be voting for Ron Paul (who I hope will be running as a Libertarian), thank you very much.

H. L. Mencken once defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that somebody somewhere might be happy.” Should Rick Santorum become the Republican standard-bearer, the only person truly happy will be Barack Obama.