Conspiracy Theory

May 5th, 2011 by John Feehery

America loves conspiracy theories. Franklin Roosevelt knew about Pearl Harbor before it happened. The CIA killed Jack Kennedy. George Bush blew up the Twin Towers. The Trilateral Commission runs the world. Elvis has not left the building. Jim Morrison is still alive.

Our current President is particularly good at spawning conspiracy theories. He is a Muslim. He hates America. He is a racist. He worked with Bill Ayers to overthrow America. He wasn’t born here. He never actually went to college. He is the Manchurian candidate. He is actually a space alien.

Conspiracy theories are fun for the whole family. It gives a purpose to all things. It means that somebody has a plan somewhere.

There are a number of good conspiracy theories that will come out of this Osama Bin Laden assassination. First, of course, is that he is still alive. No matter if those photos are released or if they are not released, some percentage of the population will believe that Mr. Bin Laden is still alive.

Another conspiracy theory is that Bin Laden has been dead for months and that the President finally revealed this today because he wants an excuse to pull our troops out of Afghanistan and to prop up his popularity ratings.  Read more...

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Posted in Foreign Relations, Fun, GOP, Government, History, Humor, Media, Politics, Religion, Scandals, Theory, corruption, just made up, middle-east, national security, terrorism, war | No Comments »

ThinkBull

October 29th, 2010 by John Feehery

ThinkProgress, the left-wing, anti-capitalist, George Soros-funded attack machine put little old me in their cross-hairs. They accused me of being a paid toady of the Chamber of Commerce: “Paying For Television Pundits: GOP lobbyist John Feehery has appeared on cable television to attack ThinkProgress’ reporting, taken to Twitter call President Obama a “business-hating socialist” for calling attention to this story, and even penned an article in The Hill newspaper to defend the Chamber and lie about our investigation. Feehery never mentioned the foreign corporate direct donations to the Chamber’s 501(c)(6). But more importantly, neither The Hill nor any of television outlets Feehery appears on disclosed the fact that Feehery’s public relations firm, The Feehery Group, counts the U.S. Chamber of Commerce as one of its clients. Shortly after our story broke, Feehery was hired by another public relations/lobbying firm, Quinn Gillespie, which is also a client of the Chamber. Moreover, Fox News’ parent company is an active member of the Chamber, and hate-talker Glenn Beck met with the Chamber’s second in command earlier this year to plot the 2010 election. While Fox hosts and Beck have endlessly defended the Chamber’s secret money, there has been no disclosure of the network’s financial ties to Chamber lobbyists.”  Read more...

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Posted in GOP, Government, Liberal Media, Media, Politics, Theory, just made up | 1 Comment »

The Lame Duck Channel The Raven

June 21st, 2010 by John Feehery

Once upon a midterm dreary, while Nancy pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten bills
While she nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one not gently rapping, rapping at the chamber’s floor
‘Tis some visitor, the Speaker muttered, tapping at the chamber floor
Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying career wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly she wished the morrow; – vainly she sought to borrow
From her colleagues surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost Majority -
For the rare and stunning setback whom the voters hit with a two by four -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each blue curtain
Thrilled them – filled them with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of her heart, she stood repeating,
“‘Tis some lame duck entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late lame duck  entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more.”  Read more...

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Posted in Government, Humor, Politics, just made up | No Comments »

Pelosi to Deploy a Wide Variety of Tactics to Win Vote

March 15th, 2010 by John Feehery

(Washington DC)  JMU News Service reports that House Speaker is considering a variety of different procedural and intimidation tactics in order to win passage of the President’s health care bill later this week.  The tactics, according to well-informed sources, include hiring a voodoo specialist, jerry-rigging the voting-machines on the Democratic side to give off an electric shock when the “nay” button is pushed, and employing never-used parliamentary maneuvers, including one called the “olde three-card monte”, and another being dubbed the “close enough for government-work” rule.

According to sources, the voodoo specialist has already been casting spells on Democrats who have said or have voted against the health care bill in the past.  Some have hinted that Eric Massa’s abrupt resignation was a sign that the voodoo campaign was already working.  “Can you imagine how shocking it must have been for Massa to think he was being whipped in the shower by a naked Rahm Emanual, only to find out that he was the victim of a voodoo attack,” the Democratic source giggled.  Read more...

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Posted in health care, just made up | 1 Comment »