And so it goes.
Fathers beget sons who beget their own sons. Fathers die, and sons are left to either carry on their legacy or to reject it out of hand.
This Father’s Day is especially poignant for many in Washington, because of the passing of Tim Russert.
But every Father’s Day is poignant for fathers and their sons. Every son wrestles with their father’s example, hoping to improve it somehow, hoping to make their dads proud.
And every father wants the best for their sons, but they are also sons, trying to live up to their own father’s expectations.
Russert’s book put an extra spotlight on the tangled relationship between fathers and son. Russert clearly loved his father, Big Russ, but he had no interest in following in his father’s footsteps. What he learned from his father was not a profession, but a way of living with respect and dignity.
For Tiger Woods, who made a long putt to tie Rocco Mediate today on the 18th hole of the U.S. Open, Father’s Day is especially important, because his father drove him to his success. While Earl Woods was not a professional golfer, he was Tiger’s mentor and coach. Today was Tiger’s first Father’s Day as a dad, and he played all 18 holes with a painful knee injury, but you can bet that he wanted to make his father proud, and so he carried on.
The tangled relationship between fathers and son has played large role on the Presidential stage. George W. Bush, who became only the second son to follow his father to the White House, has tried to improve upon his father’s legacy. As determined as he was to finish the job left undone by his father in Iraq, he was even more determined to not fall victim to the same fate of his father politically, be a one-term President.
But he will leave office one of the most unpopular President’s in our nation’s history, with many of his father’s closest advisors nodding in disapproval. It is unclear what old dad really thinks.
The top contenders for the White House in this election have their own tangled relationships with their fathers. John McCain followed in his father’s footsteps by attending the Naval Academy, but he rebelled while he was there, finishing almost at the bottom of his class. When he was held in confinement at the Hanoi Hilton, his father privately worried about the fate of his son, but publicly kept stoic silence.
Barack Obama barely knew his father, who gave his last name, and perhaps his burning ambition, but not much of an example. Obama Sr. left the family when little Barack was two, and his mother was left with the responsibility to raise him.
Today, Barack Obama gave a speech about the need for fathers to play a bigger role in society, especially in the African-American community. It was a good speech and needed to be said, and Obama is the right messenger.
The National Fatherhood Initiative points out that having a father who live at home is better than not having one, no matter how complicated the relationship can become. Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor. In 2002, 7.8 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty compared to 38.4 percent of children in female-householder families. A child with a nonresident father is 54 percent more likely to be poorer than his or her father.
So fatherhood is important.
From my own personal experience, being a dad is the best job I have ever had. Seeing my son climb on top of me, I think about how I used to climb on top on my dad. And so it goes.
Like Tim Russert, I am very proud of my dad, and hope that he is proud of me. He taught me how to live my life, and while I didn’t follow his example exactly, I learned enough to make my way in a world that can be cruel and tough.
While boys love their mothers more, they learn how to live their lives from their fathers, if they have them.
Tags: Barack Obama, fatherhood, George Bush, John McCain, tiger woods, Tim Russert
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There is much more focus on Tiger than Rocco Mediate in this tournament. Focus on Tiger fighting through the pain of three surgeries, and maybe able to match the performance of greats before him….but little talk of Rocco, except that this was probably his last chance at age 45 to achieve anything great and not to miss it.
Tiger is a father to his daughter, but Rocco is a father to a couple of sons, who told him that is merely great that he is playing in such a position. Rocco wearing the golf hat and shirt, but the peace belt. He is the talkative type who enjoys the tournament and doesn’t want to wish his opponent to do bad, just comments that he has done what he could. He is the older man, yet only 45, and Rocco is evocative of “rococo” a french style of design from the word for shell and boroque but considered “old fashioned.” A maybe Rocco, was considered “old” pr “old fashioned” in his approach to gold and life–good natured and not overly competitive to want others to lose, only for him to win. A peace sign on his belt, which there was little or no comment about-at a time of war and stolen nuclear plans and “where’s the bodies?’ motions about Cuban prisons. No Rocco didn’t fit the screenplay of a young man battling pain to achieve greatness, coming from behind with miracle shots. He was the common man, a bit of an elder, with no real ranking, just happy talk, and a smile, and yes sons. He was ranked, he has never really won, he is the underdog, but he did it, and yet his consistent play did not make go replays or come from behind miracles, just solid play with a smile and a chuckle, and a peace buckle. The final day of the open was not final, but it was open, in that an englishman nearly won, and an older common man, nearly won. The champion of many tied him and forced another playoff tomorrow, another game to focus on a man trained by his father from the womb to hold a golf club and to focus intently on ever shot. A man playing through pain to try and achieve a greater and greater number of top wins, so that his total of wins is as much as other great golfers have won….while Rocco, the Rock, seemingly plays along, while his challenger has a ‘rabbit’ to force the best to the end.
So is this open play on “father;s day” really about how much farther one father can go over another father. Is it the length of drive, the position on the “fairway” or ‘ribbon’ of space between the roughs, the hard parts of life. Is it the ability to land the easy shots or is it the power to push through the tough ones. Is our measure of success merely hole by hole, or is it the total at the end, which may be extended if all is even?
Is our success, in the end, judged by the written number given in comparison to the number asked merely to be on par with what was decided?
Shall I dare root for one father to go farther than another father?
I think I shall, not only root for him, but pray for him, as he seems to represent
more of mankind in his thought and spirit and hope in the end for peace among men. I hope for Rocco to succeed in those efforts he undertakes. He speaks to me and I think for many. His opponent is very good himself, and capable, and drives a Buick, and has a daughter, but his purposes seems to be more narrow than Rocco at this time. This open trial of men is olympian in spirit and effort, and all who have participate have already won. The question is, who will be recognized for what they have really done?
Is their life judged by numbers, or judged by men?
Is it numbers that men judge life by?
Shouldn’t they judge by how each man performs in life overall, rather than in one shapshot, or replay, of each man’s life.
This is the open question.